Man Won’t Stop Photoshopping Himself Into Kendall Jenner’s Photos And It Makes Them 10 Times Better


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    Kendall is going on a “Sandwich Diet” where she basically just doesn’t eat any sandwiches for a month and she hired me to be her “Sandwich Police” which basically means I just don’t let her eat any sandwiches. Not really great at my job tho b/c I thought she was texting on her phone but she was actually just eating a sandwich smh lol. I guess both of us aren’t great at keeping pinky promises

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    Woody from Toy Story (my personal hero) always complains about a friggin snake being in his boot. Can’t even imagine how scary that would be.  How does a snake even get into a person’s boot? It’s a snake, and snakes live outside.

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    Kendall has this pretty understandable fear of jumping up in the air (she thinks she’ll just keep floating up and up and up forever) so I always act as her stunt coordinator when she does jumps on set. Definitely a big responsibility but she returns the favor by holding my hand when we’re at the airport because I’m scared of getting lost.

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    Sad today, fam. Our fav Greek restaurant (Pita Palace) closed down so me and Kendall got dressed up and treated their last day open as a hella ritzy funeral ha. Gonna miss their spicy gyro salad and Mama Athena pinching my cheeks and calling me “little fat boy.” I’ve never seen Kendall cry so much. Dang.

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    I don't usually play with my food cause eating it is already so much fun, but when Kevin James asks you to play pizza catch... you don't turn that shiz down!!!

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    Can’t believe I got to live my Wild Wild West dreams with Kendall and this giant horse named Greg. His owner said he couldn’t do any tricks but in less than an hour I taught him how to eat peanut butter right out of my mouth!!! Either I’m the REAL horse whisperer, or Greg’s owner is a freakin idiot. He also ate a carrot, sugar cubes, hay, and a AAA battery, which apparently I wasn't supposed to feed him haha! smdh

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    Been testing out some of my stand up material on the squad and everyone SRSLY loves my sandwich related knock-knock jokes. For instance, Knock Knock / Who’s there? / Lettuce / Lettuce who? / Lettuce in, it’s FREEZING out here!!! Auntie Grace laughed so hard she had to straight up leave the fashion show and cool down at a Wetzel’s Pretzels for 10 minutes LOL.

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    NYE dinner got kinda lit when the waiter pulled off his disguise and revealed himself as Kanye hahahaha!!! That dude is the friggin King of Camouflage and the Prince of Pranks lol

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    SO EMBARRASSING... totally thought Kendall said we were going to "mime camp" but I guess she said "voter registration rally." Lol All good I had fun anyway tho. Ended up using the art of miming to help 20 youngsters register to vote AND taught them about the three branches of government :)

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    On our way to coach North's Pee-Wee soccer game!! Hoping to do better than last time tho... I'm a nervous eater and last game I accidentally ate 10 giant freezer bags worth of orange slices and then threw up all over Little Jeffrey's mom :l All good tho, as a way of saying sorry I'm bringing juicy pork sliders for the entire team! Always dope to get kids involved in outdoor activities at an early age and even more dope to teach them about nutritious snacks.


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