If you haven’t studied art history, it can sometimes be a bit confronting walking around a museum or art gallery and trying to get your head around who painted what.
So with this in mind, here’s a bit of a tongue-in-cheek guide as to how YOU can easily work out which artist painted what. Though some may fault them for being gross over-generalizations, these descriptions take the recognizable essence of each painter’s work and put it in very easy words that anyone can understand and, more importantly, remember.
If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.
If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it’s Caravaggio.
If everybody has some sort of body malfunction, then it’s Picasso.
If it’s something you saw on your acid trip last night, it’s Dali.
If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.
If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.
If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.
If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.
If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it’s Rembrandt.
If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.
If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.
If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.
If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.
If every painting is the face of a uni-browed woman, it’s Frida.
Dappled light but no figures, it’s Monet.
Dappled light and happy party-time people, it’s Renoir.
Dappled light and unhappy party-time people, then it’s Manet.
Lord of the Rings landscapes with weird blue mist and the same wavy-haired aristocratic-nose Madonna, it’s Da Vinci.
Excel sheet with coloured squares, it’s Mondrian.
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